Thwip! Watch – Riverdale S01E10 – “The Lost Weekend”

Thwip! Watch is all about what goes on our screens, namely TV. Whether CW or Fox or NBC or what-have-you, you can be sure that we here at Thwip! have been watching it. Today we are going to talk about Riverdale.

You know the drill, no burger, all stream-of-consciousness:

  1. Wow, that opening sequence/narration is throwing a crap ton of hints at to the insanity of what this episode is going to be
  2. WE WANT BACKSTORY! Why did Mary and Fred split up?
  3. Mary already sounds messed up
  4. Geez, Archie is way too normal for this town
  5. People, Veronica does not care about her dad…gotta go from a different angle Hermione!
  6. It’s all about the maple syrup Veronica! The maple syrup!
  7. I do love birthdays…though Jughead’s is going to suck…Riverdale style!
  8. Wait, who was the fourth muskateer? Are we talking about the book or are we making a penis joke? IS THERE A SECRET MURDERED FOURTH MEMBER?
  9. This show allows for so much ambiguity
  10. Aww, is Betty calling Jughead’s dad…wait, do I want to know why?
  11. Oh, it’s perfectly, normal, Betty reasons
  12. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS BETTY! HOW MANY YEARS HAVE YOU KNOWN JUGHEAD?
  13. Betty is kind of a crap girlfriend to anyone who isn’t Archie
  14. Archie knows that, seriously…HOW DOES BETTY NOT KNOW THAT JUGHEAD HAS NEVER HAD A BIRTHDAY?
  15. Veronica really bounces back from depression quickly
  16. Uh, oh…Chuck is on the scene!
  17. Oh, he was only suspended…which actually makes sense
  18. DARK BETTY IS UNLEASHED
  19. -Request- Someone do some art of Betty as Dark Phoenix
  20. Chuck is stone-cold man
  21. Also, Betty is her mom’s child…but less verbal and more physical
  22. Damn, that was a nice little reveal, good job
  23. Archie suggesting something dumb – classic!
  24. I still don’t get the hate for Archie in this series…he is supposed to be the abnormally good, normal guy in a very abnormal, overly dramatic situation
  25. Bad idea Betty
  26. WE NEED MORE WEATHERBEE! (the fat one, not the one on this show)
  27. YOU LIE ALICE COOPER!
  28. Or Papa Cooper is a psycho-path…high possibility that is true
  29. WHY IS THERE NO BURGER? SERIOUSLY? A PIZZA? YOU BASTARDS
  30. Cole Sprouse is so personable as Jughead…even though this version of Jughead is pretty much the one I hate the most (personality/character wise, I hate those who think and talk too much, Holden Caulfield style…’cause I hate Holden Caulfield – but I do love the Jug).
  31. It’s been only five months since Hiram Lodge was arrested?
  32. It’s been a while since we mentioned Jason’s murder
  33. Yeah, Cheryl is crazy, don’t mess with her Ronnie
  34. Oh crap, Ronnie is messing with Cheryl
  35. Man this dialogue between Ronnie and Cheryl is pretty comic-riffic
  36. You know, these girls are really pretty…but in a high school way, I don’t feel they are overly sexualized that you would see in other shows – is it just me?
  37. So I find them pretty, but I am not going, “man I want to hit that” (which makes me thankfully less pervy than usual [’cause Dan DeCarlo’s art in the comics really ups their sexy factor and makes me feel weird])
  38. HAHAHAHA, that is such savagery from Cheryl, love it!
  39. I love how generic Archie’s house is – it looks straight out of a 1950s catalog
  40. Archie’s problems are so normal – “oh no, my parents are getting divorced!”…meanwhile, Veronica is going “I think the Blossoms got my father arrested!”
  41. IS IT TIME FOR REGGIE TO SHINE? I THINK SO!!
  42. Chuck scares the crap out of me people
  43. Ah Ronnie, always putting her nose in things…love it!
  44. Hiram Lodge is also a psychopath – this is a reminder
  45. Well holy shit, as soon as I typed that, out comes that letter and his psychopathy is confirmed
  46. Speaking of the cafeteria, where the hell was Jughead? He does go to school right?
  47. That seems kind of mean Kevin Keller
  48. How much booze is going to be involved in this party? Anyone guessing “all of it?”
  49. THEY LEFT THE DOUBLE FEATURE? Betty is the real monster here
  50. Guys, seriously, Jughead’s dad is an alcoholic…you would think he would have issues with alcohol
  51. “Ah it’s Kevin” – that’s hilarious
  52. Betty better have home-baked that cake
  53. Wow, this feels awkward and creepy
  54. Love Betty’s sweater though
  55. Thank god Jughead says the things I think
  56. You shouldn’t have said the wish, now it won’t become true – Riverdale style!
  57. HAHAHA, Archie telling his normal problems to Veronica is still hilarious
  58. At least he acknowledges how weirdly normal his problems are compared to hers
  59. Ah, the lover’s spat – it is turning into a good one
  60. Very classic Cheryl…always ruining a good thing (as she is supposed to, I am not complaining)
  61. Jughead is going to murder someone before the end of this episode, we can see it
  62. Damn this party is off-the-hook…I hate it
  63. IS THAT HOT DOG?
  64. No, that’s Vegas…the poor substitute modern dog (The ranking of Archie universe dogs are Hot Dog, Spotty, and then Vegas)
  65. Aww, poor papa Jones, he actually looks like he is trying
  66. And now Papa Jones ruins it by being creepy Southside biker boss
  67. Oh crap, Veronica is going to go evil Emma Frost on us
  68. The plot does thicken…thicken indeed
  69. To be fair Chuck…but you kind of a shit head, so you deserve it
  70. Betty does not back down
  71. Chuck is still stone cold people
  72. ALICE COOPER MAKES HER APPEARANCE! (in sufficient psychopathic way)
  73. I like how Jughead acknowledges that he is actively weird
  74. Oh, the lover’s spat is on by the way folks
  75. Is he from the wrong side of the tracks? I don’t think so
  76. Wow Jughead, you are kind of the asshole in this argument…and you almost could have won
  77. Valerie is always right
  78. A little bit of an overreaction Valerie…but you are still right
  79. Archie is messed upppppppppppppp…but is it being drunk or has he been roofied?
  80. Roofies aren’t cool by the way people
  81. Aww, poor Ethel, trying to be nice to Jughead
  82. Wow, Cheryl really is going full-on villain at this party
  83. She does know that they can unlock the door without the key right, Cheryl?
  84. I like how Jughead’s dad is just being awkward and creepy at the same time
  85. VERONICA JUST DROPPED THE INCEST (accusation) BOMB!
  86. Dilton’s at the party…good job people
  87. Also, Dilton looks like Reggie’s younger brother
  88. Should Cheryl really be calling anyone psycopath?
  89. No one really gives a shit that Archie was having sex with Grundy
  90. YES!
  91. Wow, Jughead’s dad steps up
  92. For the first time, feeling glad that Papa Jones was around…though he did let it go too far.
  93. PAPA JONES DELIVERS!
  94. To be fair Jughead’s dad is not the most screwed up of all of them
  95. Also…DID MRS. COOPER JUST WATCH A WHOLE BUNCH OF UNDERAGE KIDS GET DRUNK?
  96. Wow, did not see that revelation coming, Mama Cooper is a former Southside Serpent
  97. Lover’s reconciliation!
  98. It’s weird to see Jughead without the hat…he needs to put it back on
  99. DARK BETTY!
  100. (I just wanted to write that, she didn’t actually go dark on us during this reconciliation)
  101. Yeah, Archie is full of bad decisions…but he is a teenager, so it is to be accepted
  102. They are really leaning against the fourth wall in this episode, aren’t they?
  103. Yeah, you all need some therapy
  104. Archie’s head is huge compared to Veronica’s
  105. FINALLY! the A/V hookup has happened!
  106. It’s funny, back in the day Archie Comics was super litigious about people sexualizing their characters…but now they just outright have all the sex being thrown around
  107. Oh man, I realized I haven’t had a sweet kiss like that in a while…
  108. Wow, I sound lonely
  109. Walk of shame…down the stairs, we did not get far did we?
  110. Awww, I like it when the characters are just regular smiling
  111. THIS IS STILL NOT MY SMITHERS! SMITHERS DOES NOT WEAR A HAT!
  112. Plus, Smithers has a better uniform than this tv one
  113. I like how it seems that Mrs. Lodge might be the only one who does not know about the party
  114. Jughead, you monster, don’t drink out of the carton!
  115. Mrs. Cooper is really chill about Betty being drunk
  116. Uh oh, machinations of Alice Cooper! I can see her thinking and planning
  117. Wow, that was a good callback – kudos writers of the show
  118. Also, these kids drink way too much coffee for their age
  119. To be fair, Starbucks came to Kuwait in my Junior year…though I was a broke ass kid so couldn’t afford it on a daily basis
  120. I really love how creepy Hiram Lodge is without even being on screen
  121. NEW MOM DRAMA! Mary Andrews is on scene!

Great episode, despite it being really, really weird…still loving this show, how will I survive without it?

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